So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We don't watch enough power rangers
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
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