So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
