Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
