I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize