Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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