Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
