I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
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