he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
