what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
We smell like vodka and hangover
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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