drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm passing your future prison.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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