I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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