I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Rumble strips road head = magical
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize