Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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