How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize