I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
