I like to think it a success when the cops are called
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
