remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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