..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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