just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
