Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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