The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
