I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
