He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
