I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
