You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize