Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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