my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
