Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
