His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize