I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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