never play flip cup with pint glasses
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
