Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
there was a trapeze. enough said
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
You're like the curious george of whores
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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