Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Randomize
