it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
