..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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