your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I wish i was in the wii world.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
