sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
