Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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