addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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