the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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