I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
