she woke up with a sticky ear
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
