Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
