yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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