I must be too annoying 4 u.
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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