How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
