But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
