If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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