My brain says no but my pants say off.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
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