I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
you made out with another girl for some wings
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize