Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
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I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
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I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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