But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
You ruined the universe
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
