good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
it glows. i had to have it.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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