dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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