Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
