I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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