wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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