There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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