Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
