So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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