Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
