I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
