He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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