Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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